Do you find it awkward to be honest about your feelings?

...Because your social circle treats it like a taboo?

Oftentimes, I find it difficult to say my true feelings to people.

Whenever I do, someone ends up hurting my feelings pretty badly or it ends up as an unbearable sight that will haunt me forever. (In other words, I regret it).

Everyone just wants us to put on a mask, and not talk about the things that truly matter because they're “too heavy“ or “too painful to hear”.

‘It's really painful, awkward, uneasy, uncomfortable, embarrassing for everyone so why do it at all?’ is what they think.

But, they don't consider the reality that sometimes it can become too late to convey your true feelings that matter.

Their bonds and relationships are fragile because they don't want the other person to open up and be honest. The connection fails to form. Feelings fail to go through.

They praise you, saying, “You're strong” when the tragedy struck.

But, only you know that you were being a coward because you hid your true feelings ever since.

They don't even want to hear that you're not being open. They find it “Cheesy”, “Corny”, “Overly sensitive”, or “Dramatic”.

They would run away, say that they have no time, change the conversation, or distract you. So that they can save themselves from feeling uneasy.

You would have no option but to wear the mask. The more you wear it, the more you're losing bits of yourself, becoming more numb and insensitive.

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When you're honest about your feelings, you're vulnerable and unarmed. You're putting yourself in a place where others can emotionally hurt you without holding back.

As time passes, the feelings build up, waiting for someone to offer you to open up while welcoming it with open hands.

Rather than normally venting them, little by little, because you rarely get the opportunity to open up…

When it happens, the stream breaks, feelings rushing out, heavier, and unbearable than ever.

Like you're heavy-lifting the whole world.

You get through it.

And somehow…

It feels lighter than ever, like a huge burden was lifted off from your shoulders, like a breath of fresh air.

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Seek the company of people, who welcome your honest feelings and make you feel comfortable about opening up. Try not to dwell in despair too much and actively make attempts to solve the problems rather than just pointing them out and stating the negative impacts they have on your life.

Keep your distance, or avoid opening up to those who want you to put on a mask (as they're more likely to hurt you).

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Hi there.

I could say things like “Oh, you, I'm just putting on a strong front” whenever someone praises me for being ‘strong’.

But, no one taught me the words I needed to say in my native language. My native language feels too limited to express feelings and emotions. Even if I knew the exact words, it would come off as strange and embarrassing, because no one uses them in casual language. And it's not like anyone wants to hear it, anyway. The right time to vent never happens. (This is a big part of the reason why I write.)

If you found this article- well, a confession of my true feelings, to be relatable, share this with the people who don't know that you're not being honest about your feelings.

If you're the person who is receiving this article from someone else, know that the person who sent you this is feeling awkward about being honest about their feelings and that they want you to let them open up sometimes.

Encourage them to do it slowly. Even through writing or text messages, as it will be a lot less awkward and easier to do.

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Thank you for reading! I hope you liked reading this article and I hope it was helpful. Come again next week on Friday for a ✨new post✨

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- Harshini

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